The Workings of an Overactive Imagination
by The Mills Apocrypha
Summary: Sirius is doing a Mr. Darcy and Remus is having serious issues with reality and moisture. SBRL


Sirius looked extremely pissed off as he climbed out of the lake. Snape, after admiring his handiwork decided a retreat was probably in the best interests of his health and bolted.

James, Peter and Remus were killing themselves laughing. Or James and Peter were at least, Remus was actually hyperventilating for a whole other reason. (Was that drool?) But don't blame the poor chap.

Sirius was striding towards them with a face like thunder, dripping wet from head to toe. His white shirt was now see-through, his trousers were clinging to his body and my, it was a fiiiiine body. From his current position Remus could just see his nipples through the shirt, the muscles moving beneath it and he clenched his fists and oh, what's this? Oh, my...

Sirius hated wet clothes, like after being caught in the rain, they stuck to you, all cold and slimy, unbearable. So he took off his shirt.

But what Remus saw was Sirius slowly raise his right arm and pull his tie loose before dragging it over his head and tossing it to the ground. Then, in slow motion, reaching back up and unhooking his top button, the other hand coming up to meet it and proceeding to rip the rest of the garment in two down the middle, buttons pinging off in all directions, (girls scrabbling round to catch them like women at a wedding doing battle for the bouquet) his head turning to the side to reveal a gleaming column of flesh, toned and taunt. (Remus claims at this point the words 'I am man, hear me roar' met his ears, he was now almost as wet as his friend, no lake as an excuse.) As the rest of the shirt was peeled off his body he twisted it in his hands, flexing his arms, hair blowing in the wind whilst looking straight at Remus with dark lidded eyes, getting closer and closer...

"Fucking bastard I'm gonna kick his..." There, stood right in front of the werewolf, who could hear nothing but the wind in his ears and the pounding of his heart, was the vision. Thank God his robes were too big for him.

"Put your shirt back on you great poser, your making the female population wheezy. Come on lets go the dorms...Remus...Remus! You coming or not? Dozy werewolf off in a world of his own.

Remus shook his head to clear it of the haze that had settled there and hurried off after the other three, using every ounce of willpower he possessed not to look at his poor wet friend's arse. He did magnificently, barring the moment when Sirius bent down to take off his slopping shoes-he's only human after all.

As they walked they plotted ways of getting revenge on Snape. Sirius, whose rage seemed to be fogging his mind somewhat wasn't willing to see further than charming Snape's next shower (presuming he took them) into showering piss but James said it was too unoriginal and such a crime needed revenge of the most heinous nature. Intense planning and illegality was necessary.

"Don't you worry." James said clapping a hand around his best friend's shoulders, (Remus isn't jealous) "when we're through with him Snivellus will be begging for piss showers and simple hexes."

"POTTER!" A voice ripped through the hallway and was shortly followed by the redheaded powerhouse that was Lily Evans. "As a prefect I forbid you to hurt Severus, whether he started it or not." She spoke over James' protests. "It's six to one, half dozen of the other with you lot and it needs to stop. Remus, can't you put a stop to this?" She turned her disapproving glare onto the blushing werewolf.

"Well he...I mean...I dunno." He mumbled to his navel. He glanced up at Sirius and wished he hadn't, the man was looking at him intently as if waiting to see on which side he would fall. At Remus' 'answer' he gave a soft smile and rolled his eyes. Remus' stomach leap frogged.

Lily had turned her attention back to James. "I thought you had grown up Potter, obviously I was mistaken, you're just as infantile as ever. If I get wind of some prank on Severus I'll come down on you like a ton of bricks. All of you!" Eyeing each of them angrily she turned on her heel and marched back down the corridor.

James growled and strode off in the opposite direction towards Gryffindor tower without waiting for any of the Marauders. Peter started and rushed off after him leaving Remus and Sirius to follow at a more sedate pace, although Remus was feeling anything but sedate right now. Sirius was walking so close to him their arms brushed occasionally and every time a jolt of electricity shot through his entire body. This was getting ridiculous.

Sirius had apparently found their encounter with Lily somewhat amusing however and he was in a better mood when they reached the dorm than when they had set out. As they entered Remus discovered why, the rage demon had slipped out of Sirius and into James. He was thundering around the room roaring about Snape ruining everything and what he'd like to do to him if they met up a dark alley and suchlike. Remus and Sirius sat on their respective beds and watched the show. Shortly James stopped mid-boom and declared he was going to the library, this was restricted section worthy and whipped out the door. Peter squeaked and ran out after him leaving a heavy silence in his wake.

Remus stayed sat on his bed looking down, he had problems of his own he needed to attend to. He looked up only to find himself eye level with the crotch of a rather wet person with no shirt on. He gasped and jumped back-slightly, going bright red. "God Padfoot, make a guy jump."

He looked up into his friends face and saw him merely raise an eyebrow. Remus needed a fan, _now_.

"Sorry Moons" He answered quietly. "You ok? You've been looking pretty flushed all afternoon. Not coming down with anything are you?" He reached out a hand to feel Remus' forehead but it was batted sharply away.

"No! Get off. I'm fine. Just a bit-" He gulped. "Warm today is all." His voice had dropped to a murmur. He was still staring at Sirius midriff. It was drying but there were droplets of water collecting on the skin. Without thinking he leaned over slightly, stuck out his tongue and licked the water from Sirius's bellybutton. As his tongue curled back to re-enter his mouth reality threw a brick at his consciousness and he froze, tongue still sticking out, hands gripping his bed covers. There may have been a sharp intake of breath. It may have been his own. Very slowly, as if moving at disabled snails pace would disguise the fact he was moving and therefore not bring attention to himself, he pulled his tongue back in his mouth. 10 minutes later he dared to lift his head up to look into the face of the man above him. If he wasn't already dead he'd soon get there.

Sirius's lips were slightly parted and his eyes were wide, he didn't look particularly angry. Remus could see his heart was going like a machine gun pushing its way out of his delicious (and it was) chest. Consciousness having been knocked out by the brick he was alone with an empty head and far from empty lower region. Not taking his eyes off Sirius's he leaned forward again and touched his tongue to another droplet on top of the hip bone. Sirius breathed in slightly and when he let it out again seemed to be trembling.

Remus looked down at the body in front of him and carefully selecting another drop above the bellybutton ran his tongue over it and up the groove in his chest. He felt hands grip his shoulders but still heard no words and the silence was beginning to deafen him. He grabbed onto Sirius's hips and gently nipped the skin above the navel, the grip on his shoulders tightened. Without meaning to he let out a barely audible growl and gripped the hips, pulled them around and threw them and the body attached onto the bed. In the next instant he was straddling his 'friend' with a hungry look on his face that could not be argued with. Placing his hands on the smooth skin of the chest above the nipples he bent low again and let his tongue rest where the trousers met the bare torso and ran it along the seam. His captive convulsed and tried to pull away but Remus grabbed his hips again and pinned him to bed. Casting a brief look upwards he ran his tongue achingly slowly from navel to nose, pausing only to graze certain areas with his teeth to hear another strangled gasp, all the while holding down the body trying desperately to arch into the touch.

When he eventually reached his target he pulled back ever so slightly to look into the face of Sirius Black. He adored it, he could spend hours simply staring at it in wonderment at how anything could look so perfect. The way his nose had a bump in it at the top, the cheekbones so defined, the eyes that were never the same colour twice, it shouldn't be possible he thought yet here it was, alive beneath his fingers. He reached out and touched the cheeks, the nose, the bitten lips, just to make sure they were real. He smoothed down an eyebrow with his thumb. "Sirius" he murmured and shook his head gently, "I-."

Sirius lifted his hand to Remus's face and caressed his cheek then pulled him down and kissed him softly, their lips moulding together. They didn't move for at least an eternity and when Remus finally pulled away he realised that kissing Sirius was far more important than breathing and he needed a deep breath. Their faces changed, became more focused, sharper as they read each other's minds in a fraction of a second and threw themselves together again, sweet kisses be damned.

Hands were raking hair and skin in all directions in their desperation to get as close as was divinely possible. Remus's legs were still wrapped either side of Sirius's and he tensed them together as he ran his hands down the steaming body beneath him, feeling it move against him, driving him crazy. His moved his mouth to Sirius's neck and began pressing hot kisses down to the hollow, now collected a different sort of fluid. That too he disposed of before working further down still. He curled his tongue round the nipple, vaguely attempting to flatten it, frustrated at his failure he teased it with his teeth receiving a small cry in reply. He grinned to himself and carried on down.

It was about this time he became aware that the trousers were still soaking wet and very cold. "These need to come off." he muttered to himself. "You'll catch your death." Sirius looked at him incredulously for a second before indicating for him to continue, which he did.

Wet clothing disposed of, consciousness still flat out the proceedings could seriously get under way. But Sirius Black could never stay still for long and Remus suddenly found himself flat on his back with a rather naked animagus atop him sporting a wicked grin any flash bastard would be proud of. "Oh come on Moony," he purred "you didn't think I was going to let you sit in the driving seat forever did you?" Before he knew what was happening his bedside water jug was in Sirius's hand, it's contents over himself. Sirius gasped in mock shock, "Why Moony, you're all wet. You'll catch your death!" And he began to save Remus' life so effectively that the steam rising from their bodies put the average sauna to shame.

xxx

The next day...

"Sirius there's a dirty smudge on your shirt"

"Yeh I know, it's where I went into the lake."

"Tut! Sirius you mean you never washed it?! Why go to all the trouble of sewing the buttons back on if you're not even going to wash it?"

"What? Why would I need to sew the buttons back on?" Sirius replied a look of utter confusion on his face. "Are you ok Moony?" He put his hand to Remus' forehead. Oh, Remus was most certainly not ok.

"I think I may be losing my mind." He droned miserably and turned away.

He felt an arm glide round his waist and hot breath in his ear as a voice purred "If it bothers you that much Moony you better rip them off me yourself tonight."

(In Remus' mind the diagram of his head with the word 'dreams' in shifted to be replaced with reality allowing the dreams to run wild and free surrounded by little bouncing rabbits. He grinned.)

A/N  
Do you ever look at someone and see a whole scene play out before you only to discover it didn't really happen? My testament to the fact that reality can be so overrated!  
The bit in brackets is from Father Ted, it's something you gotta see to understand I think. To clarify, he didn't imagine it so smiles all round :D


End file.
